I was 7 months pregnant, and was suffering from bad headaches. I had a lot of pressure in my head during the last trimester of pregnancy. At the time I was living alone, and my mom was out-of-town enjoying a vacation.
I was also getting scared about delivering a baby, and becoming a single mom. So, on the day Christ got my attention, I was crying and almost hysterical, I just wanted help. I wanted to be whole, to be happy about what about to happen to me, but I was broken and down trodden, terrified that I would mess it all up.
So, I decided to read a book that explained to me what a christian is. It was a little pamphlet that listed, what a christian was and what a christian was not.
I kept coming up on the not being a christian side, even though all these years I thought I was a christian. But, why would I be so unhappy and scared if I was a christian? The even bigger question is, why would I be an unwed mother? God’s word says,
1 Corinthians 14:33 ~ For God is not a God of confusion but of peace. As in all the churches of the saints, (ESV)
So, there was definitely something crumbling with my so called belief system, and it was failing, and everything was falling apart around me. God showed me, that, I never was truly converted and needed salvation, finally. God confronted me with the facts. And talk about shock, to my pregnant system, but then I knew what I needed to do, get on my knees and beg the Lord to forgive and save me a wretched SINNER!!!
In retrospect, the thing I didn’t do the first time I thought I accepted Christ was, I didn’t confess my absolute unworthiness to God. I was still holding on to pride, and that was an unacceptable offer to God. What I had to do, was acknowledge my sinful ways before a holy God before my offer would be worthy of salvation. Basically, I had brought an unacceptable sacrifice, before that saving day.
What caused this realization? For me it was my pregnancy, and future motherhood that got my attention, to realize I needed a godly intervention, to have any success raising a child alone. I was clearly aware of my upbringing, and wanted better for my child. So in good faith, he gave me my converted hearts desire, SALVATION, praise God!!! God’s word says,
2 Corinthians 6:2 ~ for He says, “AT THE ACCEPTABLE TIME I LISTENED TO YOU, AND ON THE DAY OF SALVATION I HELPED YOU.” Behold, now is “THE ACCEPTABLE TIME,” behold, now is “THE DAY OF SALVATION ” (NASB)
Just a note: It had nothing to do with going to hell that caused me to bend the knee, it was becoming a mother that frightened me into almost having my baby early or something worse. God uses everyday things, to bring us to the end of ourselves, and doing things our way. He doesn’t use scare tactics or thoughts of Satan to confront us. So please realize this is true for you as well, blessings.